website! And if that doesn't make you want to head down to your local pet store and order a groundhog for yourself, I don't know what does!
Anyways, Happy Groundhog Day, and let's hope the little bugger predicts a short winter! But, that's not the reason I called this meeting. I REALLY want to talk about PETA's proposal to do away with "Real Phil" and replace him "Robot Phil."
At first I thought the idea from PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) was just a joke -- a gag, a yarn, a tall tale, something to give their group a share of Phil's spotlight. But the more I thought about it, the more I decided that.....
THEY MAY JUST HAVE AN AWESOME IDEA ON THEIR HANDS!
Just imagine it: Disney makes an animatronic Punxsutawney Phil lookalike -- a twin, a duplicate, a mirror image of the original -- and programs him to come out of his hole, wave at the crowd, moonwalk up to a groundhog-level microphone, strike a John Travolta "Saturday Night Fever" pose, then proclaim his wintery prediction based on satellite images and weather patterns from the NOAA's National Weather Service. He could do it in eight different languages. He could be pre-programmed to sound like Alvin the Chipmunk or Eddie Murphy. He could blow kisses to the crowd.
Not only that, but a robotic groundhog would no longer be relegated to appear just one day out of the year. He could come out on New Years and sing "Auld Lang Syne." He could wear a Santa outfit for Christmas and sing "Jingle Bells." Put him in a pair of groundhog-size swimtrunks and he could proclaim the beginning of Spring Break and sing "California Girls" or "Surfin' USA."
The possibilities are endless.
So I say, let's don't outright poopoo the idea from the good folks of PETA. Let's think about it. Let's put together a focus group to study it. Let's gather up a committee of top professionals who'll bat the idea across a round table, and one day author a white paper on the matter and present it to the rest of us for our consideration. Let's give the thought all the merit it's worth.
Until then, I'm going to have a cup of coffee and watch the Gobbler's Knob Groundhog Day Festivities Webcast. How about you?