I usually never read those weight-loss articles. I just fly right over them without giving them a buzz, but this one caught my eye because of the cup of coffee photograph that was associated with it. The big headline read: "Natural ways to boost your metabolism." And for a little kicker: "Drink yourself to slimness."
Now THAT'S more like it.
I skimmed through the article -- it mentioned something about muscles and weight training (yeah, yeah, yeah); keeping hydrated by drinking lots of water (and staying close to the toilet I suppose); cardio-something exercise (more sweating, no doubt); and finally, what I was really looking for: COFFEE DRINKING!
Come to find out, if you can give a boost to this thing called metabolism, your body will help burn off those fat cells, thus making you lose weight, thus making you able to fit in those jeans a little better, and thus keeping that belly ABOVE the belt instead of hanging OVER it. Coffee is an "effective metabolism booster" (quoted straight from the article), and can improve "fat oxidation" -- whatever the hell that means.
The article says drink a cup before exercise to "improve alertness and help fight fatigue," but I'm thinking if I drink TWO cups I can forget about the exercise altogether with exactly the same results. In fact, if I restrict my calorie intake to just coffee (say, a couple of cups three times a day), I'll never be hungry and my belly will never even THINK about hanging over my belt again.
Far-fetched you say? Maybe. But aren't there already diets that make you drink so much of this and so much of that in order to fill you up so you don't feel as hungry, causing you to lose weight -- for a chunk of change because you have to order their product?
Well, if I'm going to spend my hard-earned dinero on something to drink, then I'm spending it on coffee -- freshly ground, piping hot, "just itching to get my metabolism off the couch and out metabolising like it should be" coffee!
In fact, I'm off to have a cup right now. So, adios mis amigos! Me and my metabolism have got some business to attend to.
4 comments:
First they say coffee is good for ya - then they say coffee is bad for ya - but this is the best thing I've heard !
I don't drink but when I do - I'll have Coffee !
Yes, a take on The Dos Equis man
But should the coffee be sugar-free ? I want mine with full cream, real sugar and a side of donut !
Hold the cream and sugar???
Well, you COULD hold the cream and sugar, but if you didn't, it would still have less calories than a coke. But the donut thing -- that's definitely ruining the diet. Well, maybe it would be okay if you limited yourself to ONE donut -- per cup.
I like this theory, but...if it's true, since I do drink coffee just about all day every day, why am I still too fat? I think I'll get another cup of that black brew and think about it for a few minutes! (And, no I never use cream or sugar. I'm wondering if the nice big pieces of buttery, and jellied toast at breakfast and sandwiches with a big pile of chips at lunch and whatever isn't nailed down at supper might be causing me some weighty trouble?)
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